Rocky Road Easter Cake

Rocky Road Easter Cake. Photo: SimoneySunday

My hubby is not a great fan of chocolate eggs or bunnies. Nor does he rave over marzipan and dried fruit, which means making him Easter eggs and Simnel cakes, while ostensibly appreciated, is futile (I have to eat them myself).

Therefore as he does love eating chocolates and chocolate cakes that are stuffed full with bits, such as brownie squares, cookies and fridge squares, I decided this year to make him a Rocky Road Easter cake. The question was, how should this best be done to look professional enough as a gift?

I did have a round cake mould, plenty of chocolate and plenty of digestives. I always keep stacks of chocolate and digestive biscuits for baking, as well as marshmallows for entertaining the youth group. Sure enough I also had glacé cherries in my cupboard so I set about my fiendish plan.

Preparation time: 30m
Keeps: two weeks in a cool, dry and sealed environment.
Serves: 12 easily, 14 if you are stingy. 2 if you are dedicated to eating it every day for two weeks.

Ingredients
Chocolate (I used Sainsbury's Basics range of chocolate bars, three dark and three milk. This came to about £2.10 worth of chocolate)
1 bag large marshmallows
Half a tub of glace cherries
1 pack of Basics digestive biscuits
1 pack Sainsbury's white chocolate
Various leftover icing decorations from the previous Easter (they keep mostly forever)
A cake mould (ring looks cool but I am sure you could do this with a loaf tin)

How to
I melted all the milk and dark chocolate in a large saucepan on the lowest possible heat.
Once the chocolate was stirred and melted the pot was removed from the heat and I then mashed nearly all the digestives into it using the end of a rounded rolling pin.
Some biscuits fell into my mouth by accident. It was great.
Don't mash the digestives up too much - leave some fairly chunky to give texture and crunch to the finished product.
Cut each cherry into half and stir into the mix.
Cut the marshmallows up (if they are large) into quarters. I found that I had to keep bathing the knife in warm water as it was getting sticky, so I gave up, washed my hands and tore the marshmallows up myself. Some may have fallen into my mouth by accident. I plead the fifth.
Stir the marshmallows into the mix.

Once it is all stirred, spoon into your cake mould. I should have put greaseproof paper in first but I didn't.

Leave to set in the fridge overnight.

Now the next day, if you have sensibly used greaseproof, simply lift it out of the mould. If you didn't, then like me you will have to warm it up a tiny, tiny bit so it melts enough to slide out without being a mess. To do this i left it sitting in a bowl of warm water for five minutes.

Once it is out and on a plate, decorate with melted white chocolate. I drizzled this over using a honey stirrer, from a fair height, and then dotted last year's sugar icing decorations around it in a fairly even pattern, and left it to set.

For the finishing touches, I wrapped it in clear polythene. I had bought a huge roll of this years ago from Woolworths for sweets I was making to put into little teacups for beautiful, unusual birthday presents (I will hunt for pictures and write up the recipe soon) and I still have plenty of this left.

Ready for Easter Morning. Photo credit: Simoney Sunday

A tiny scroll of shiny gold ribbon, an Easter verse from the Bible and some colourful Easter paper cut-outs and voila! A professional looking Easter Rocky Road cake.

And it was delicious.

Food hack #101: Getting Honey Runny

Honey honey honey... It's a rich man's world

Honey does not come cheap - good honey that is. So when a fair bit remains in the jar in the cupboard and is approaching or even a little after the use by date, you may see that it has started to crystallise or solidify.

Do not throw it out!

Put a little lemon juice - either a squeeze or three of a real lemon or one of those bottled lemon juices used for flavouring - into the jar, and warm it up in the microwave for about two minutes. Let it cool slightly before using it!

Tip: Do not try this with plastic bottles. Learn from my fail.

The No-Bread Budget Pizza

Chicken and Olive Budget Pizza. Credit: SimoneySunday

I am attempting to diet. Not successfully, I might add. But I have been experimenting with ways to cut down on the carbs, boost the protein and decrease the snacking. I have also endeavoured to avoid the temptation for a take-out after work, particularly my husband's favourite post-press day go-to culinary delight: the two-for-Tuesday.

Mostly this has been a success. I have not purchased or partaken of my darling treat, a bag of crisps, for a couple of weeks. I feel healthier, less bloated and more energetic despite the growing workload that is inevitable in the run-up to the end of the tax year. Sadly today an enormous chicken, bacon and brie baguette leapfrogged the canteen counter and forcibly entered my mouth. I did fight it off bravely but I was overcome. I lived to fight another day...

One of my favourite experiments so far has been the no-bread pizza which I believe I have invented although no doubt if I could be bothered to search online, I would discover had already been discovered. So I believe that if I do not search, I will not find, and therefore will not have to feel bitterly disappointed.

It is basically a thick egg omelette, so no gluten or starches at all. Usually my omelettes are light and fluffy affairs, folded gently like an eggy cocoon around sun-blush tomatoes and cheese. But to create a decent pizza-dough like base for two people, I used six medium eggs instead of the usual four.

Obviously apart from being gluten-free and lower-calorie than shop-bought or pizza delivery, it also costs far less, especially if you are using up leftovers.

Ingredients
6 medium eggs
Herbs and spices
Tube of tomato puree (or ketchup would also work although it tends not to have as good a texture)
Grated cheese
Ham
Chicken
Olives
Or any topping of your choice.

How To
Mix eggs well with herbs and spices of your choice. I used a pinch of salt, a crackle of pepper, a scattering of tarragon and a shaking of paprika.

When these are beaten, pour half the mix into a round pancake pan, which has already been heated up with a little olive or sunflower oil. Make sure it spreads evenly, and use a spatula to stop it sticking. When it has almost solidified on top, gently place it onto a pizza tray. Spread some tomato puree over for a base. This can get wonderfully gooey, so have fun and don't worry if it does.

Whack on your chosen ingredients in a roughly even pattern to cover up the bare bits, then grate a shed load of cheese over it. Put it into a warmed up oven and bake at about 160-170 degrees Celcius (gas mark 3-4) for 3-5 minutes or until cheese has melted. Timing will depending on your type of oven.

Ham and Chicken Budget Pizza. Credit: SimoneySunday

Hey, yeah I said lots of cheese. What? I said this was a no-bread pizza, not a no-fat pizza. What do you think I am, a monster?

Food Hack #99: The Gravy Train

I do not subscribe to the Bisto fan club. Every time I go to someone's house and the Bisto comes out, I sigh a little inwardly. 'Ah. Bisto'. I haven't got anything against Bisto per se and personally I love using Oxo and Knorr stock cubes for flavourings in sauces, pies, stews and soups.

But the art of using good natural stock seems to have gone down the (sauce) pan these days.

FREE gravy is the best gravy! It is healthier, not packed with salts and preservatives, and perfectly complements the food you are serving.

All you need to invest in is some supermarket own-label cornflour. I use Sainsbury's own and it has kept me going for almost two years.

Suppose you are cooking a roast dinner? Firstly, are you boiling any vegetables? Do not strain the water into the sink. Pour a tiny amount into a bowl or jug, allow it to cool and then mix in one to two tablespoonfuls of cornflour, depending on how thick you want it to be. Stir until it has become a white liquid. Add a little more water as necessary. It should look like milk.

Pour more veg water into a small saucepan and add the liquid cornflour from the jug. Add some salt and pepper, and put on a moderate heat. Stir occasionally. You will see it start to thicken.

Never add cornflour powder directly to a saucepan of hot vegetable water. It will not thicken but congeal in weird white lumps that look like snot.

Take the meat from oven and use a baster or large spoon to gather up some of the meat juices from the bottom of the dish. Add this to the saucepan and stir. If you fancy, add some herbs or spices. Sometimes to darken it up I add a tiny squirt of brown sauce, but only if I am cooking with beef or lamb.

What this gives you is gravy made from the very food you are about to eat, so the flavours match what you have cooked, instead of competing with it.

It is also extremely cost-effective and much healthier for you. Get on that budget gravy train!

Food Hack #98: Get that Salad Dressed!

Cheat's salad dressing

Do you ever have an urge to eat salad when you get in from work? You do? Crazy child. But who am I to judge? In fact I am here to help. If you have any leftover honey or Dijon mustard in a jar, here is how to create your own vinaigrette dressing cheaply and quickly.

Let's face it, paying £3 for an upmarket, home-style dressing is just nonsense when you can do it yourself for free!

Ingredients
Honey
Dijon or other grainy mustard
Vinegar
Olive Oil

How-To
If you have a smattering of runny honey left in a jar, add a few teaspoonfuls of Dijon mustard. Likewise if you have some Dijon mustard left in a jar, add a few teaspoonfuls of clear runny honey.

Then add a few ml of olive oil - about two teaspoonfuls, and a few dashes of red wine or white wine vinegar, replace the lid and shake what your mother gave you, and well.

Once it has all mixed together, et voila! You have a delicious salad dressing made up of leftovers.

Cheat Treat!

Blackberry Tart. On a Budget, innit! Credit: Simoney Sunday

I wouldn't normally advocate buying prefabricated pastry cases, but not everyone has the time or the energy to be a domestic goddess - not to mention the fact that getting the pastry case absolutely perfect is a beggar. And it's always good to get something in your store cupboard, just in case.

Many big supermarkets stock pastry cases of various sizes and, when I happened to find a batch in a 'sin bin' - with a 'Use By' date of that very day, I could not help but consider 4 small cases at 89p a bargain.

The thing is, these can be frozen. And frozen they were, until I needed to use them to try to impress the female parental unit with a posh-looking dessert that didn't take me any time to prepare.

This was very, very simple although it looks fantastic. Or would have, if I could take pictures properly

Ingredients
Ice-cream (home made is best - see the recipe here - but this occasion Sainsbury's helped out)
Whipping cream
Blackberries (I normally get these for free by harvesting and freezing but these were from my friend's garden)
Cocoa Powder (I have a feeling this might have been WeightWatchers!)

How To
Whip up the cream (some people put a little icing sugar into it to sweeten it but we don't like things too sweet in our house)
Spoon it into pastry cases
Decorate with some washed and dried blackberries

Waft some cocoa powder over the side of the plate and scoop a ball of icecream
Decorate with some home-grown mint leaves if you're feeling extra (which I was. You should see mum's garden when the mint took over. That was a three-year battle)

And whoop! A professionally presented dessert that takes all of say, 5 minutes (depending on how quickly you can whip that cream).

Champagne tastes, cola budget. What can I say?

Of Dating and Dicing: the United Dairies' Delectable Chicken

UD three-wheel float, c.1954. Photo posted to the Milko group by Don Reid

This is the first ever recipe I tried out of the first recipe book that I ever owned and it has become a staple in the Mermaid household.

Until 1995, I had learned from my mother, along with some stalwart cookery books from 1940-1978. Fruit cake? No problem. Rissoles? Easy! Stuffed Sheep's hearts? Bugger off.

But here I was at university, and I was about to cook my first meal for a man. Not just any man, but a chap with whom I was hoping to become romantically involved. This called for some more modern cuisine. But it also called for dining on a budget. I was a student, after all.

There was no proper internet to turn to, nor smart phones. I didn't even have a mobile phone back then. But then staring into the Spartan fridge in our painfully clean kitchen (we were three OCD neat freaks and still best friends, though not quite so tidy now), my gaze landed on a pint of milk and I had a brainwave.

Now during the 1980s and 1990s we used to support our local Milkman from the United
Dairies. He would come every Saturday with fresh eggs, milk in cool glass bottles, pats of golden, creamy butter in shimmering gold paper. And, once a year, my mother would buy me a diary for the year, which had recipes dotted throughout. I turned to this for help and there it was. For 1998, Pan-Fried Chicken in Mustard Sauce.

I cannot quite remember how UD told me to cook it but it was a doozy of a recipe. Here is my version, with love.

As an aside, I used to wash and clean the chicken before I cooked it. I used to wash off all the blood and fat, and then clean it with lemon juice and salt. All my friends' mothers did the same. Apparently this was not the right thing to do. Oh well I ain't dead yet. Anyway I do believe the lemon, salt and pepper gave something extra to the chicken. You decide.

I've built on the recipe by adding mushrooms and crushed garlic, but these are optional.

Ingredients (serves four)
1 pack of slender chicken breast fillets. I think at the time I used Sainsbury's budget label or Morrisons.
1 tub of 200g creme fraiche
2 medium brown onions
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 pack baby button mushrooms
6 teaspoonfuls of Dijon (grainy) mustard
Also
2-3 cups of basic white rice
1 bag of green beans (or mange tout if you want to be posh)

How to:
In one saucepan, start to boil the rice in a little water.

While this is doing, finely chop the onions and start to fry them in a little olive oil (or whatever you have) in a large frying pan. Add the crushed garlic.
Start dicing the chicken.
When the onions start to brown, turn down the heat.
Add the diced chicken to the pan and stir gently until it starts to turn white on the outside. Keep on a moderate heat for 10 minutes until the chicken is white in the middle.

Dice or slice the mushrooms. Clean and prepare the beans, and put to steam for five to eight minutes. If you do not (as I do not) have a steamer, put a small covering of water and butter over the beans in a saucepan and lightly cook with the lid on for about 8 minutes.

Add the diced mushrooms to the pan and season with a little butter, pepper, salt and/or garlic to taste.

Whack in the creme fraiche as soon as the meat starts to brown on the outside and stir in the mustard. Within two to three minutes, the sauce should look brown and the mustard worked through. As soon as the rice and beans are done, serve.

To look fancy
I grow my own chives so it's easy and cheap to put a lovely garnish on the meal. Also to create the bowl effect with the rice, put lots of rice into a small bowl - I have a small round plastic one left over from Uni days - and turn upside down on the plate.

It looks great, full of fresh flavour and zing, but all for less than £8:00 for four people. Now THAT is a champagne taste on a Cola budget!

Oh, and I ditched the romantic interest from University eventually, even though he loved the meal.